IMPORTANT PLEASE READ
Under no circumstances do I want to receive any e-mail on how to play The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I will not, and I repeat, NOT answer any questions on how to do this or that, get a simple item, beat a petty boss, or say whether rumor (a) or rumor (b) is true, as any idiot could easily see they are fake. This file's first release was on December 31st, 1998. As I sit here, it is February 20th, 1999, a Tuesday. For the past five weeks I have sorted through the hundreds of e-mail I get on a DAILY BASIS, yes, a DAILY BASIS, patiently, calmly, and cooly answering the pleas and questions to the best of my ability. However, the pressure is getting too great. People, so called "fans" are ordering me, yes, you heard right, ORDERING me to answer their dumb-witted questions. Not noting that I receive 200+ e-mails a day, they act like they are supreme beings and I am a small ant who will answer their questions. I'm sorry, but I WILL NOT put up with this any longer. Even though I want no more e-mails on Zelda, I will let my e-mail address remain. You may think this is rather odd, but it is for the person who wants to comment on it, or correct something. Note that I still do not receive any questions. Any e-mails I do get asking questions I will IGNORE. I-G-N-O-R-E. If you can't beat Zelda with this guide, a guide I busted my ass to make, a guide I poured my heart and soul into, a guide I worked on harder than any other, you are indeed a drooling retard. Remember, for any comments or corrections on this FAQ, make it clear in the subject line.
Please, respect my wish and let it rest...Thank you.
Sick Sadistic Quotes
"Which fairy do YOU think looks more like a prostitute?"
- Me!
"As long as the Triforce of Insantiy lies in my hands..."
-??? (not funny unless you've seen the ending)
"With four girls/women who have fallen in love with him (Princess Ruto, Saria, Malon, and Zelda), I have come to the conclusion that Link is, in fact, a pimp."
- Me! Who else?
"Link doesn't want to marry Princess Ruto?! Or Zelda?! Or Malon?! He's either a) too attached to Saria, b) a complete idiot, or c) a homosexual. Ew..."
- Me
"Hey, hold on a second...didn't Nintendo promise an orgy in the ending of this game?"
- Me
I have a challenge for you....yes...you!
Try and beat GANON, the final boss, with the Iron Boots on.
Not so easy now, is he?
Well, everyone was wondering if it could live up to the hype. There was critism, there were doubts, but they have all been laid to rest. Miyamoto did his job. The Legends of Zelda: Ocarina of Time does not only live up to the hype, it _exceeds_ them in every way possible. It is a perfect mix of gameplay, graphics, and sound. If you do not enjoy this game, then you just aren't a video-game person. That, or you wanted to hate it from the start. My friends, do not read beyond this point if are playing the game for the first time. Please, do not fall into temptation! You would never forgive yourself...nearly 100 hours of gameplay sucked down the drain (more or less depending on how much you explore and search the first time through. That is just the average if you just collected everything necessary to complete the game. If you explored every nook and cranny before going to Ganon, it could have easily ranked up in the 200 range).Zelda is beyond mere adjectives...Hey, my little art up there didn't really suck that much, did it?...DID IT?!
Sorry for bringing it out so LATE! I was one of the few lucky ones who got to wait until Chistmas for Zelda (damn parents!). Well, better late than never, right?
Copyright © 1999 Marshmallow; HTML conversion ©1999 GWC, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction by any means is strictly forbidden.